~~*~~*~~*~~*~~
You Know You're In A
Church When....
People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000,
whether the two fish were bass or catfish.
~~*~~
People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark.
~~~~~~~
The preacher says, "I'd like to ask
Bubba
to help take up the offering,"
and five guys stand up.
~~*~~
Opening day of hunting season is recognized as
an official church holiday.
~~*~~
A member of the church requests to be buried
in his 4-wheel-drive truck because:
"It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of."
~~*~~
When it rains, everyone is smiling.
Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice.
~~*~~
The choir group is known as the "O. K. Chorale."
~~*~~
The pastor wears boots.
~~*~~
Four generations of the same family
sit together in worship.
~~*~~
There is no such thing as a "secret" sin.
~~*~~
Baptism is referred to as "branding".
~~*~~
There's a special fund raiser for a new septic tank.
~~*~~
Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable.
~~*~~
High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling.
~~*~~
People think "rapture" is when you
lift something too heavy.
~~*~~
The final words of the benediction are,
"Ya'll come back now, ya hear."
~~Author Unknown~~
HOME
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ED'S PLACE INDEX
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E-MAIL
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"Betty's Bloomers"
©2000-2006
08-26-01
