~**~**~**~**~

So he asked the Lord
if he had on hand
Anything left
when He made the land.
The Lord said, "yes,
I had plenty on hand,
But I left it down
on the Rio Grande.
The fact is, old boy,
the stuff is so poor,
I don't think you could use it
in hell any more."

~**~**~**~**~

But the devil went down
to look at the truck,
And said if it came
as a gift, he was stuck;
For after examining
it careful and well
He concluded the place
was too dry for hell.
So in order to get it
off His hands
God promised the devil
to water the lands.

~**~**~**~**~

For he had some water,
or rather some dregs,
A regular cathartic
that smelt like bad eggs.
Hence the deal was closed
and the deed was given,
And the Lord went back
to His place in Heaven.

And the devil said,
"I have all that is needed
To make a good hell,
and thus he succeeded.

~**~**~**~**~

He began to put thorns
on all the trees,
And he mixed the sand
with millions of fleas,
He scattered tarantulas
along all the roads,
Put thorns on the cactus
and horns on the toads;
He lengthened the horns
of the Texas steers
And put an addition
on jack rabbits' ears.

~**~**~**~**~

He put little devils
in the broncho steed,

And poisoned the feet
of the centipede.
The rattlesnake bites you,
the scorpion stings,

The mosquito delights you
by buzzing his wings.
The sand burs prevail,
so do the ants,

And those that sit down
need half soles on their pants.

~**~**~**~**~

The devil then said
that throughout the land
He'd manage to keep up
the devil's own brand,
And all would be mavericks
unless they bore
The marks of scratches
and bites by the score.
The heat in the summer
is a hundred and ten,
Too hot for the devil
and too hot for men.

~**~**~**~**~

The wild boar roams
through the black chaparral,
It's a hell of a place
he has for a hell!


The red pepper grows
by the bank of the brook,
The Mexicans use it
in all that they cook.
Just dine with them
and then you'll shout,

"I'VE A HELL ON THE INSIDE
AS WELL AS WITHOUT."

~~Author Unknown~~

~**~**~**~**~

Music Sequenced by Rose McKuen

~**~**~**~**~

HOME

BLOOMER'S INDEX
MY MUSIC ROOM INDEX
ED'S PLACE INDEX
HOLIDAYS INDEX